The Testing of a Wizard - Viktor Gitin

CANNIBAL – You’re such a lovely and mouth-watering girl, so wonderful, you smell so delicious. You must have drunk some rum whilst snacking on onion and garlic?

LIZY – What are you talking about! I don’t drink at all; I only had some stale bread. I spent all day walking in the forest, and I was very afraid. I was told that this forest is very scary because cannibals live here.

CANNIBAL – Why should you be scared of us?!

LIZY – So you’re a real cannibal?!

CANNIBAL – How should I put it… truthfully or as I usually do?

LIZY – Of course truthfully!

CANNIBAL – In that case I’m keeping quiet. As if I didn’t hear the question. It would be better if you told me why you are here in the forest alone?

LIZY – I’m searching for my fiancé. He went on long and dangerous journey, and I followed him so that I could help him, because we love each other very much. Innocently and sincerely.

CANNIBAL – Have you got a big dowry for innocent and sincere love?

LIZY – No. I haven’t got a dowry. Family happiness doesn’t consist of one’s wealth!

CANNIBAL – Possibly. But in family life it is better to suffer in an extravagant palace with gluttony than suffer in a small hut from starvation. If your fiancé has forgotten about you and left, you that means everything is all right with him. Don’t worry about him.

LIZY – He hasn’t forgotten me. He’s a young Wizard to be, and he went to look for the MIRACLE.

CANNIBAL – Ahh! So, your fiancé is the same cheat whom I offered my home to. And in return he cast a spell on me and left me hungry. I’m so mad at him that I’m ready to go find him in your uneducated town. But only when he has found this MIRACLE. What does he need it for? He doesn’t know how to handle it properly anyway. And I could.

LIZY – So Gelo was here?! Tell me where did he go?

CANNIBAL – Where, Where? Why should I know? Probably to the island.

LIZY – Then I have to hurry. Thank you for the hospitality. I shall go.

CANNIBAL – Where are you going?! You want to leave me hungry? No way!

LIZY – I’d liked to make you something nice to eat, but I have to go. I will do it next time. (Quickly gathers her things)

CANNIBAL – I’m getting bored! At first, I was a little hungry. By talking with you I’ve become really hungry. And now i want to wolf you down!

LIZY – How…how do you mean?!

CANNIBAL – That’s how! I will eat you in a rough and perverted way!

LIZY – (Frightened) Oh! Don’t!

CANNIBAL – Don’t what?!

LIZY – You know … rough and perverted…

CANNIBAL – Don’t be afraid, I will do it quickly and it will only hurt a little. At first, I will you eat your right leg, followed by your left one. Then I will gnaw at your little arms. And after that I will finish of the rest.

LIZY – Don’t eat me! I’m against it! … You’re such an interesting man…And such a fascinating talker. Just by talking to you I feel very clever! Please don’t eat me!

CANNIBAL – Let’s not argue. Arguing on an empty stomach gives you a very bad complexion. And anyway, I’m so sensitive, tender, and helpless! That’s why you shouldn’t even bother to try and save yourself!

LIZY – But you can’t eat me!

CANNIBAL – Remember – you can eat anybody! It’s just not always good for your health.

LIZY – You have to understand, I need to catch up with Gelo and help him to find the MIRACLE!

CANNIBAL – You’re still worrying about that! No need. He’s young and healthy enough to find another young girl who will want to help him. You will be easily replaced. Ha Ha Ha!

LIZY – Not true! He will never swap me for anyone. I’m the only one he needs!

CANNIBAL – Naïve silly girl, only I need you, because I’m hungry. So just stay here and wait for me. I will lock the door just in case.

LIZY – What horror!

CANNIBAL – Wonderful, the weather is perfect today. In this kind of weather, you always feel like strangling or robbing someone. That’s why I will go to the highway and stretch myself a bit. And in the morning, I will eat you.

LIZY – I can’t and won’t die!

CANNIBAL – Such nonsense, try to relax. And by the way you might want to clean the house, wash my clothes, and think over the meaning of life and the essence of existence. And you can tell me about it later…if you have time. Don’t miss me!

Cannibal goes out. Lizy sits with her head in her hands for a while not knowing what to do. Then decisively stands up and walk around the room.

LIZY – I can’t sit here doing nothing. I have no right for that. I have to help Gelo. I need to find a way to escape. Cannibal said that Gelo went to the Island. So, I have to be there by any means necessary… There must be at least one way out of this house. It looks like one of these boards has rotted. If I try hard enough maybe I could break it and get to the outside. I need to do this… It’s my obligation to help Gelo… Dear Gelo, I love you so much…

Tries to break a board in a corner of a stage. At last, she succeeds and gets out of the hut.

I’m free! I’m coming to you Gelo! …

Music plays. Blackout. Curtains.

* * * * *

Scene Four.

Riverbank. Here lives The Fisherman and his family. He walks