How to avoid becoming a spinster? - Ulbosyn Naurizbaevna Shaleken

You shouldn’t just wave away your mom's advice. Take a closer look, give a little time to a potential groom your mom found. What if you marry and live a long and happy life with him?

It may seem that all your friends are married and talk behind your back. And your mom 'bulldozes' you from the other side. Just try to avoid thinking about it. Train to turn it off in your head like a radio. Everyone has their own life.

Take any disputes with your mom as a chance to change your relationship only for the better. You don't have to turn a marriage dispute into a scandal or a feud.

Your mother is the person who’ll never betray you and will always love you. Remember that.

Remind your mother from time to time that you need THE ONE who can make your life bright and joyful.

See finding a husband not as an end in itself, but as an exciting and useful activity that will allow you to meet interesting people, get life experience, get to know yourself better.

To make a "God knows what" out of a marriage and marry a stranger, just because your mother or relatives want you to be married is stupid!

You’re a grownup and you have your own plans. You’re responsible for your own life, and, of course, you’ll build your future as you see right.

Don’t hurt your mother, at least pretend that you listen to her and assure you’ll get married. Be softer with the only mother you have in the whole world.

Imagine you have a daughter you love and you do everything for her well-being. When the time has come to create a family, she refuses to listen to your advice and cuts off any conversation about family life. You won’t like it, right?

WHEN YOU GET RIGHT DOWN TO IT, LOVE FOR ALL AGES.

YOU CAN CREATE A FAMILY IN OLD AGE.

IT IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERIONE.

I HAD IT THIS WAY.

Chapter 4

An office romance: maybe?

A colleague asks an office assistant:

– Why do you write 'best wishes' to Ivan Petrovich,

but 'best regards' to Andrey Ivanovich?

– I wish Ivan Petrovich to have as big as Andrey Ivanovich!

Author unknown.

I bet you’ll spot my gloomy undertone. Workplace, of course!

I'll start by saying that I met my husband at work, during one of the business trips. At that time I was 32, and my husband was 30. We didn’t have a 'traditional' office romance, but it was same-field work that brought us together. We didn’t share an office. We were dating for a week.

One summer evening, he said:

– Let's go to the Civil Registry Office tomorrow.

I replied:

– Ok, let's go.

The next day we went there, filed an application and a month later we were registered. Two months later we had a wedding. It seems, that then neither he nor I seriously realise that marriage isn’t just friendship, nor a 'civil' marriage, it is a real thing that comes with its own rules and traditions!

I still keep telling him 'One-week dating, really?'. No drama, breakups, tears in the pillow, SMS waiting. We 'partly' experienced dating dramas being married.

I’ve no regrets about that.

Marriage still feels different. Values, plans, tasks, goals change.

Some envy, some condemn, and some is just happy for us. We try not to pay attention to anyone that is it. From the very beginning, our union wasn’t taken seriously by others. Now no one expects us to divorce. They know it is for a long time.

There are ups and downs in our marriage, but I think no couple is an exception. There's no such thing as a perfect marriage. That is for sure

Instagram is full of happy family photos, but they have moments of misunderstanding too.

I’m sure.

Marriage is knitted with little sacrifices. I don’t go out with my friends so often, I cannot fly away somewhere as I did before, I try to be more mindful with my finances.

BUT BACK TO THE TOPIC)

It's okay if you met the guy of your dreams at work. However, it is very important to know for sure that he’s single, not engaged, married or have children.

The work has enough drama without romantic interventions.

Even if you’re sure that he’s really single, you shouldn’t go and shout about it on every corner.

You may be misunderstood. Do you need people gossiping behind your back? There is a time for everything. Colleagues are usually not too enthusiastic about open relationships. Maybe somebody likes this guy to? Or something else.

A friend of mine met her future husband at work. They dated for two years sharing the same office for a year. She worried that company management would find out that she had an office romance. And you never know what? What if the management and colleagues won’t like it?

'I don't care' won’t work here, that's for sure. They applied to the registry office only when both were on a vacation. They introduced their parents and rented an apartment. They returned to work as husband and wife. To say their colleagues were surprised is to say nothing.

There is a rational kernel I can see.

But I also know a story, when a girl met a guy at work and didn’t make it a secret at all. One day they broke up which, of course, affected the work. His attitude spoiled so hard that she had to find another job.

However, even the most delicate situation can benefit or at least bring less harm, if you analyse the situation you’re in first.

As you can see, everyone is different. There is no recipe. However, there are generally accepted rules and regulations.

Here are a couple of office romance stories